Office Party Secrets

The Kind of Secrets I Want To Hear At The Office Party

1. My pony is not actually in this country legally. I smuggled her in from Albania.

2. The girl has said things recently that suggest some serious cognitive dissonance. I'm thinking of returning her to the institution.

3. Technically it's not considered a disability because I can only affect DNA by direct contact.

4. Carly Simon is trying to tell me things by manipulating the clouds in my coffee.


The Kind of Secrets I Actually Hear At The Office Party

1. I hate my boss.

2. I used goto statements in my last program.

3. It's been on my elbow for 3 weeks. Do you think I should see a doctor?