Bibles on the water cooler

I go to the water cooler today and there are two New King James Version bibles lying on top of the spare water tanks. What does it mean? Am I supposed to take one? Am I supposed to convert?

The thought of a "New" King James version is utterly repulsive to me. Let's keep the primitive scholarship and get rid of the beautiful language!

I want to borrow one because it claims to have a "User Guide," but I'm afraid. Stealing is one thing, but stealing a Bible!?

So, of course, now I'm wondering who among us is propagating Bibles. Could it be someone I know? I eye everyone with suspicion.... who dares try to save my soul?

Maybe the answers are in the User Guide...

If I Were a Book

If I wrote a book it would be a series of adventures in the men's public restroom. For instance, this guy wants to use his favorite stall, but there's someone in there. He goes back several times during the day, but it's still occupied... and it's the same guy! He can tell by the shoes! Is the guy dead? Dreaming? Does he have the same digestive schedule?

The book is called "The Worse and the Worser"

The movie will be called "Worse than Warsaw"

The Uncounted Poetry Dead

Dead minds understand the power of poetry.

The activist who cries "poetry is not a crime" does not understand.

Poetry is the life of the mind, the capacity of the mind to change. Niyazov understood the power of ballet. Laura Bush understood the power of poems. Stalin understood the power of poetry and art and cinema. No greater respect for poetry exists than that of George W. Bush, who would ban poetry if he could.

But freedom has not been enough for poetry to thrive. Minds die in full presence of poetry. Poetry hides itself and is hidden.

Until only the dead minds understand it.

Wind Sheer

A Peruvian plane crashed recently in the jungles of Peru. When asked if wind sheer might have been the cause of the crash, a spokesman for the airline said, "Wind sheer? What's that? That sounds awful! Why didn't anyone tell us about wind sheer?" I know just how he feels.

Nameless Immortals

Today's nameless immortal is the town clerk who insisted Lord Nelson put his right hand on the Bible.

my exciting new career

Last night my friend was castigating my novel. He said it was just a bunch of people talking in a bunch of different rooms. He couldn't see the people or the rooms. A lot of the times he couldn't even tell who was in the rooms.

So it occurs to me, I should be a playwright!!